9.19.2010

The Deck. And also, I'm Homesick.

First of all, I want to be clear that I know I am incredibly blessed. The photos of our new deck will make you hate me.

We decided to rent in the short term because we knew nothing about the Bay area, and buying a house--blindly--scared us. The amazing thing is that we found a house that meets so many of our family's needs, and is beautiful to boot.

Our deck is pretty much the icing on the (already beautiful) cake.

Also, because I don't have to hang pictures and curtains and worry too much about furniture placement, the deck has been easy to set up. It's got a little sitting area, below:

...and a great eating area, with views of the bay.

I love it, and believe me, I know how lucky we are.

Now, the homesick part. We just moved very far away from all our family. They are in Ohio and Colorado, basically, with some in Georgia and Pennsylvania. I debated on whether or not to be honest here. I know some of you just come here for the home decorating stuff, and believe me, I don't blame you. Most of us have enough going on in our own lives, without adding strangers' problems to the mix.

But I can't just pop onto my blog and act like my life is perfect. I'm struggling these days. I miss my family. My husband used to work from home in Colorado, but now that we're in California he is commuting to the office every day. My kids are 4 years old and 20 months. I love them dearly but I think we are all just a bit lonely. Nina keeps talking about wanting to move back to our old house. Henry just wants to break everything, as sweet as he is. My sister, brother-in-law and precious niece are left behind in Denver. We have no one out here. I didn't even know who to write down for my daughter's preschool "in case of emergency" person. Adjusting is hard.

I always knew it would be hard. I didn't expect perfection once we moved here, but I couldn't post "perfect" photos of my "perfect" life and "perfect" house and pretend that things are, indeed, perfect. I don't expect you to solve my problems, because I know we've all got them. (But please don't say anything mean unless you want me to be a puddle on the floor.)

But like I said, it's real life. We can have beautiful houses, but we need friends and family to make them home. I know those things will come, with time. But three weeks in to our California transplant, it's pretty lonely around here. And I couldn't pretend otherwise. So forgive me.

At least you know I'll have plenty of time for house projects! I'll be back in a few days with more...



67 comments:

Kristi said...

Oh Carrie! Hugs to you from Colorado. I can't say that I know how you feel because I have never lived far from family but I can only imagine how hard that must be.

I hope you soon meet other moms at the park or at preschool and you won't feel so lonely!

Melody :-) said...

Carrie, I feel for your situation, and I hope that things feel a bit more like home soon.

Emily said...

Carrie,
Although I don't know you - I've been visiting your blog for a bit and love your design eye;-)
Five years ago I moved to Colorado from California and found myself amongst strangers at every corner. It took a little time, but getting to know others through church, neighbors, work and school has paid off. It was a struggle to go outside my comfort zone (literally). It was a challenge but I've grown so much.
Bless you in your new adventure. How nice it is that you have a "bird's eye view" of the bay. May it give you a fantastic perspective on your new life. :-)
Emily

Maryann @ Domestically-Speaking said...

You do have a beautiful view! We moved 3 years ago only 1-1 1/2 hours from family and friends and I still can feel homesick. I totally know the feeling on the emergency card... my best advice is just find some place to plug-in and get to know people, even if you don't feel like it. It will help your emotional state of mind and you will get to know people in case you do need someone.

Laura said...

Aww... it will get better. I moved to the USA from the UK almost seven years ago... during which I had my two daughters... I went through large periods of being homesick and feeling so isolated... Having babies certainly hampers socializing... but I came out the other side... I got myself out and kept myself busy. I stopped wondering what my family were doing, I stopped imagining what I'd be doing if I were back in the UK... I opened my mind up to building a life here in the States and it's worked... I have now embraced my new life and now say I 'live' here...don't get me wrong, I miss my family like crazy... Vonage and webcams helped fill the gap... It will get easier... just hang in there and push down the sad thoughts, by looking at what opportunities and experiences have just opened up for you... Chin up. Lx

Connie said...

The situation truly will get better, sugar. I know this from personal experience.

Moving out of California to Idaho was a huge transition for us but it was one we relished. Truly, hubby is my partner in just about everything in life. I agreed when we got married in 1961 that he would be the one I followed to the ends of the earth. That has never changed and I've never wavered. You have him and the kids and while you miss the extended family you have, you will get friends. I'm one of those people neighbors put on their list of people who can pick up their kids at school in an emergency. Soon you'll be able to determine who you can trust and things will be much better for you. I know this because Jack and I have lived in so many places, but I have him and that's truly all that matters, sweets.

xoxo,
Connie

Norma said...

I definitely know what it's like to be homesick. Hang in there, it WILL get better eventually!

Jboo said...

Bless your heart -- it is hard to be so far away from all you known and loved for so long. No doubt, you will make some friends quickly and your family will start be able to visit soon! I predict a lot of winter-time visitors! :) Hang in there Carrie!

Janet

Shannon said...

First off your new home is beautiful! I could drink coffee and read out on that deck all day long ( :

When we moved from Ohio to Washington State 5 years ago, it was an adjustment. It honestly took me about a year to get my groove back. Once I began exploring the area and meeting some new friends, it began to feel more like home.

Now we have friends who are just like family and are our emergency contacts now ( : and you will have that too!

Best thing you can do for yourself now is get out and explore a little with the kids. You will get your groove back. Promise. It just takes time.

Good luck and have fun exploring!

J and Company said...

I am right in the middle of the same thing! We just moved from the West cost to the East (hubby used to work from home two days a week and now works everyday) and I get homesick too. But I kind of feel like I can't say I'm homesick because I was so excited about the move. But things are getting easier, and getting involved with preschool, church, whatever you can find definitely helps. I just wanted to say I know how you're feeling!

Shilo said...

Change is hard! I've learned to give myself the freedom to feel both joy and sorrow at the same time. Just because I'm grieving a loss, doesn't mean I don't appreciate what I have (sometimes people can make you feel like you are ungrateful if you express your grief when you are living in a blessed life). It's just the reality of life. It's ok (and important) to grieve.
Sending a big hug for you and as I am missing my family this week (I missed my mom's big 5-0), I will remember to pray for you missing yours.
God bless you, beautiful Carrie.

Laree said...

March 31, 2007 we moved 2000 miles away from my family. It was the first real move I'd ever done. My hubby went from a 5 minute commute, to working in California - while we now lived in Texas. (that part only lasted for 3 months, then he was able to work in Texas too). I knew no one. I knew where nothing was. I had an almost 3 year old and a 9 month old. I had no family, no friends, no hubby - and to add insult to injury, we were making less than a first year teacher.

Life was hard. VERY HARD.

I feel your pain.

It got better. My church is GREAT about making friends. We actually assign people to basically be your friend. I made friends with some wonderful moms (we all had almost 3 year olds), who showed me the best places to shop, to get a deal, best parks, best ice cream.

And life was good again.

Hang in there. And know that your digital friends are rooting for you!

The Starr Family said...

There was just a tornado in Ohio, and Colorado winters are hard... God is shining the sun in California just for you. Change is hard and demands growth... and doggone it, wouldn't you rather the flowers grow than you? Will say a prayer tonight for you, for trust, courage, and one small moment of peace for you tomorrow!

Marie said...

believe me...i KNOW. we are a military family and we move a LOT. i've lived in 11 states(and two states we've been in twice!)and have moved my kids too many times to count. and it's hard every single time. we recently moved to virginia after 2.5 years in georgia... this move should be our last. i miss "home"... wherever it is. i miss being so close to my family in florida, friends in georgia, my kids schools, the familiar trip to the grocery store... simple things like that can set me off in a sea of tears. so silly sometimes, but it takes awhile to get comfortable. you can do it! ;o) and congrats on your new home.

Loui♥ said...

Hi Carrie..
Colorado is missing you also..
I ran out today to meet up first time face to face with a blogger who lives only blocks from me..we both were wondering how you were enjoying your new home in California..
Five years ago.. i moved to Colorado from another life entirely.. from married 25 yrs.. to divorced! but, have since lost my job, gained a new hubby and three furbabies. I can now zip all over Denver without ending up headed North! for the main reason.. I learned from getting lost all the time how to explore new areas.Plus I found the Goodwills and neat thrift shops..
Life will get better..
just explore..slowly,and smile.. and before you know it, you'll be calling that place you are renting.. HOME!
as a former military wife who moved continually, I always considered
"Home is where my stuff is" and Home is where the NAVY sends me"
warmest hugs..
from Denver with Love..
Loui♥

Anonymous said...

I completely feel your loneliness in regards to in case of emergency. It's such a slap in the face. Trust me, itWILL get better!

julie said...

I went through the same thing 6 years ago when we moved 5 hours away to the beach...husband used to have a home office now commuting...my baby started kindergarten and I didn't know a soul. Put everything we had in storage and rented a furnished condo until we got to know the area a little better...2 weeks later Hurricane Ivan hit...oh Lordy...then several more hurricanes over the next 18 months...and to top it off I had a surprise beach baby....lived in that crudy condo for 20 months!!!! Now we are looking at moving back "home" and it makes me sad bc the beach is home...so what I'm saying is, you will be settled in no time and LOVE it in CA...praying for you :)

Nikki said...

Hugs! I have never moved away, so I can't imagine, but I'm sure it is hard. I'll be praying for you and your family.

I know you aren't really asking for advice, but you might want to check out http://www.meetup.com/ and look for a mommy's meetup group in your area. I found a meetup group in my town and have heard of other mothers finding great groups to get involved in, especially when you are new to an area.

Oh, and the views from your patio are amazing!

Heather L. said...

I'm sorry you are homesick. I can only imagine how hard that is! I've never been away from family, but reading the part about not knowing who to put down in case of emergency really made me sad for you. I am sure you will meet people very soon!

Your new house is beautiful!!!

Jill said...

You are so sweet! We too moved a few years ago and I felt so lonely, friendless, and churchless. But, we found great friends and a great church and we feel so connected. I think its going to be hard when we eventually move back to Ohio. I found playdates and etc online and just sorta figured out who I could "chill" with. GOod luck and we will be praying for you!

oh and by the way, LOVE LOVE the patio!! we have friends in the bay area.... might have to send them your way!!

Carmen @ Life with Sprinkles on Top said...

It's always hard to move and then add to that not having any friends or family around, that makes it even worse. I like the suggestion in another comment, maybe you can find a mom's group to join. At least you have a beautiful view to enjoy. :) Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

You poor thing! While a move is exciting it can be so hard as well. Try checking out a MOMS Club (MOMS Club international). When we moved to a new town and I didn't know anyone, it put me in touch with other local moms and I have made some wonderful friends! Best of luck to you! It will get better!!

Elizabeth said...

Five years ago we moved from Georgia to Wisconsin for my husband's job. I was a new mom with a 6 month old baby and we did not know a soul here. It was quite lonely at first. I hated being far away from family and all my good friends. It took some time, but it is finally feeling like home (although I doubt I'll ever get used to the winters!). Another idea is to check if there is a local MOPS group you can join - that would be a great way to meet some other young moms. Hope that you settle in quickly! I love your new place & what a gorgeous view!

Anne and Whitney: Up, Down and All Around said...

oh, being homesick is the worst! i remember being SO HOMESICK i actually felt sick at times when i studied abroad in spain in undergrad and lived w/ a family that didn't even speak spanish! it was so hard to be so far away!!!
is your 4 yr old in preschool out there? hopefully you can meet some nice families through preschool or maybe your 20 month old could do gymboree or a music class or something where you could meet some nice/fun moms???!!! hopefully with having kids you can find things to do where you can meet other moms/families w/ kids your kids age??? good luck!!! by the way - your deck and view are unbelievable!!!

The Writer Chic said...

Carrie, I get it. Oh, how I get it. We are almost 2 years into our move from OH to TN, and I just hit my first real bout of homesickness.

We have had so much drama since our move -- our break in, Duncan's birth and death, my pregnancy with -- and sunsequent birth of -- Erin, that I feel like I can finally come up to breathe...

And when I did, I choked on the tears to realize reality had set in, and my family was all still so, so far away.

I will be praying for you, friend.

Kara Frank said...

I feel your pain!!! I have been in the Modesto, CA area for 6 years now. We moved away from all our friends and family too! It was hard, but probably the best thing we have ever done!!
I have been following your blog for awhile now and just love to come and check out what is going on in your life and I just heart your decorating!!
I would love to chat or email. Let me know if I can help in any way!

Kara

southerninspiration said...

Oh, sweetie, I am sorry you are homesick....you make me want to come for a visit by showing off that deck!! OMG! Well, back to you....I know adjustments are hard.....are you visiting churches, playgrounds, or somewhere you can meet friends? I hope you will feel more at home soon.Take care, and I look forward to your projects!! :D

Suzanne

SalicosFamilyBlog said...

Not much too add except for I REALLY know what you're going through!! We left Castle Rock in June after 6 years there! I have 4 kids and left a job I had for over 5 years! Boo hoo! Who knew leaving behind a perfectly good life could hurt so bad.

The bright side? We're going on 4 months in Seattle and the pain of leaving home has subsided substantially. Hang in there - I'll be thinking of you :)

Belinda said...

Oah I am so sorry you are homesick! It has got to be hard! I had kind of a similar situation.. now I am stretching it here.. but when I quit work after 12 years of working in the social service field to stay home with my son after giving birth ( and waiting on our daughter from Guatemala) I felt so alone.. really alone most of my girlfriends worked or there kids were in grade school.. I joined a MOPS group through a local church and really got involved! I love it and it helped me so much.. to connect with other moms in the same chaper in there lives! HUGS to you! hope it gets better!

Jillian said...

I am so sorry that you are going through these tough times. Yes you are in a beautiful place, and yes you do have a lot to be thankful for, but you are allowed to feel homesick. I do so remember the feelings you are having right now, and I can tell you they will fade, but I am sure you know that. When my parents divorced three years ago at the age of 27 my best friend, my mother, moved away to Denver, and for us that is about a 2 1/2 hour drive. What made it soo difficult is that we went to that from having lived exactly right next door to each other up to that point. I could see my mom, and she could see her us anytime we wanted and we did. Now I talk to her every day but only get to see her about once or so a month. I know that your family is so much farther away than that, but I just want you to know that I understand and wish that I could help to ease some of the loneliness for you. As a mama of two little ones myself I know that as much as you love them there are certain voids they cannot really fill for you. The wonderful thing is that the area you are in is incredible! Take care!

kcandcoley said...

I totally understand your loneliness being home with your babies. Mine are about the same spread as yours, and my hubby works a lot. My neighbors all work. Their kids are all older. My girlfriends with kids the same age live too far away to see each other often because of naps and school. We love our kids, but grownup company can be priceless sometimes. What saved me is joining my local MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group. Depending on who you ask, people love MOPS or hate it. It is a group of mommies who need some big girl time, who meet a couple of mornings a month, share a breakfast, have a guest speaker, maybe a little craft, and just get to relate to people who know what you are going through. It is scary to go somewhere where you know no one, but I can't even believe the amazing girlfriends I made by taking that leap of faith. If you go to www.mops.org you can scroll through their menu to find a local group. Just something to think about!
Blessings,
Nicole @
http://blessingsandbling.blogspot.com/

Raquel said...

{{{hugs}}} that has to be so hard!!!! the great thing about CA and the bay area are there is so much to do and the weather is usally great. Join a mops group asap, get plugged in a church and start hanging out at the park you are bound to meet other mommies. we are in ca but way south of you in Bakersfield. my hubbies aunt and uncle live in santa rosa and they love there church if you are near there and looking shoot me a email and i will get you the info.

i will be praying for you!~

Miki said...

It does take some time, but things WILL get better! We moved to Colorado from the easy coast, where all of my family is. As beautiful as the mountains are, I miss the ocean. Whenever I am in a new place (we've moved around a lot) and I don't know anyone, I go somewhere familiar to help make me feel better...Target! Roaming around the store, I can almost pretend I'm back home even for a few minutes, and it helps bridge the unfamiliarity of the new city. Miki

Rebecca said...

As a military wife, I totally understand what you are going through as I constantly either have friends that move away when their soldier gets a new assignment or we have to move! It is not easy at all and it takes time for anywhere to feel like home. I have not read what the other people have posted so this might be something others have said but join a moms group of some kind. I don't know if you are religious or not but local churches often have MOPS groups (mothers of preschoolers) you can look at the national website to find chapters in your area...I think it is just mops.org or something that simple to find. Also another great place to look is meetup.com! That site has groups for anything you are looking for from cooking, walking, dinner out or moms groups and everything in between! It will take time and when you go home to visit, the first few days/weeks back home will again feel like misery! You have to MAKE yourself get back into life and know that you and your husband have made this decision for the best of your immediate family! Good luck and I look forward to hearing about your new adventures!

Anonymous said...

Carrie,
I don't think I've ever commented before but I just wanted to share my thoughts with you. I moved from Southern California to Northern California about 5 years ago, BLINDLY, in order for my husband to get a promotion, and yes, work longer hours. At the time I just had a kindergartner and it was a week before Christmas. ALL our family was in Southern California. We were temporarily living in a 1 bedroom apt. since my husband moved up about a month before my daughter and I did. I was excited, we were going to be able to afford a bigger house, etc. After about 2 weeks I broke down. I felt so lonely and isolated. We knew NO-ONE! I had enrolled my daughter in school and felt as if the other moms kinda knew each other already. I remember talking to the cashier at the local grocery store for a little longer than normal and was so excited to actually get to speak to an adult! Someone who would talk back! Then at about 3 weeks or so, one of the other mom's from my daughter's class actually came up to me and introduced herself with a such a warm smile on her face. She ended up becoming a good friend of ours and our family. And when my second daughter was born she helped plan my baby shower. I always told her how that one introduction and smile just broke the loneliness and gave me hope. I will tell you though that after 4years of living up in Northern California, it was hard not being with our family, having the kids near their grandparents. After a HUGE decision, many sacrafices (like giving up our wonderful home up there) and having my husband take a pay cut, we ended up moving back down to So Cal and realized that it was important for all the family to be together. Plus, where we were in Nor Cal, there wasn't a WHOLE lot to do with kids! I guess what I'm trying to say, keep in mind that THANK GOD you're renting, you were so smart. I think you should open yourself up to new experiences and push limits to take risks and put yourself out there. To this day, we made more friends up in Nor Cal than we ever have had down in So Cal. We miss our friends up there dearly and they have visited, and I cry when they leave. But it's all a trade off and unfortunately for us there was no "perfect" place. We had to rent down here for now (very expensive to buy where we're at)but we're glad to be back "home". Please don't give up hope, and know that nothing is ever set in stone. But give it time. Heck, I gave it 4 years!!!! :)

Good luck and thanks for posting your honesty! I remember it all like it was yesterday. We women all cry way too easy! :)

Julie :)

Anonymous said...

Carrie,
I don't think I've ever commented before but I just wanted to share my thoughts with you. I moved from Southern California to Northern California about 5 years ago, BLINDLY, in order for my husband to get a promotion, and yes, work longer hours. At the time I just had a kindergartner and it was a week before Christmas. ALL our family was in Southern California. We were temporarily living in a 1 bedroom apt. since my husband moved up about a month before my daughter and I did. I was excited, we were going to be able to afford a bigger house, etc. After about 2 weeks I broke down. I felt so lonely and isolated. We knew NO-ONE! I had enrolled my daughter in school and felt as if the other moms kinda knew each other already. I remember talking to the cashier at the local grocery store for a little longer than normal and was so excited to actually get to speak to an adult! Someone who would talk back! Then at about 3 weeks or so, one of the other mom's from my daughter's class actually came up to me and introduced herself with a such a warm smile on her face. She ended up becoming a good friend of ours and our family. And when my second daughter was born she helped plan my baby shower. I always told her how that one introduction and smile just broke the loneliness and gave me hope. I will tell you though that after 4years of living up in Northern California, it was hard not being with our family, having the kids near their grandparents. After a HUGE decision, many sacrafices (like giving up our wonderful home up there) and having my husband take a pay cut, we ended up moving back down to So Cal and realized that it was important for all the family to be together. Plus, where we were in Nor Cal, there wasn't a WHOLE lot to do with kids! I guess what I'm trying to say, keep in mind that THANK GOD you're renting, you were so smart. I think you should open yourself up to new experiences and push limits to take risks and put yourself out there. To this day, we made more friends up in Nor Cal than we ever have had down in So Cal. We miss our friends up there dearly and they have visited, and I cry when they leave. But it's all a trade off and unfortunately for us there was no "perfect" place. We had to rent down here for now (very expensive to buy where we're at)but we're glad to be back "home". Please don't give up hope, and know that nothing is ever set in stone. But give it time. Heck, I gave it 4 years!!!! :)

Good luck and thanks for posting your honesty! I remember it all like it was yesterday. We women all cry way too easy! :)

Julie :)

Anonymous said...

Oh, and I forgot to mention, my 3 year old STILL asks when we're going home (back to Nor Cal!). I can't believe she even thinks about it. But out of the blue she'll ask when we're going back home. Ugh, breaks my heart.

Connie said...

Carrie,
You are so real and I think that's why you have so many that follow your blog. You are so normal and this too shall pass. I have moved alot in my life and have never lived near family. Friends will come in time when you get out and when your little ones start school. Parks, McDonalds, the library, church, thrift store shopping, mom's group are all something to think about. Then take a sight seeing trip every other weekend to get out and learn about your new area with your hubby. Have him call you everyday at lunch to say "hi!".

In the meantime, Skype your family everyday. It does make it alot better. I miss my son and his family who moved to your Colorado a year and a half ago and that's made it bearable. I still miss them and long to have them just stop in however I know their life is much richer and their marriage so much better being where they are.

I pray that for you! Many new adventures and blessings to you.

Love ya, COnnie

Busy as a Bee in Paris said...

Hang in there and give yourself some time! Be kind to yourself too and indulge in some things that make you happy! 4 1/2 years ago, my husband and I packed up what was left of our belongings and our two children and one in my belly and moved overseas! We came to live in Paris, my husband's country. I was not prepared for the waves of homesickness that would overcome me over the next few years!!! But it does get better! Indulge in yourself, love your little ones who are sad to but might not understand why and be close as a family. Time heals all wounds AND allows us to make new friends! ;) Adjusting is hard, but not impossible! And you will surprise yourself when you learn to be happy in your new home! Good luck!

Val said...

I'am homesick too. It's been 2 years for us in Socal. Even though I have met friends over time. It's not the same. My husband never went through the missing part. It was like he was never homesick. I was jealous that he was so content. Not having a soul really makes you think about what is important. It will become easier. Once you get into a routine. You will be fine. But, you will always miss home. It does get better.

Tara G. said...

You sound completely normal! :) We're military and always seem to be very far from family so I know how you feel. Setting up house and getting back into regular routines always take time with a move. And I think with our "immediate gratification" type of culture, we sometimes lose touch with the reality of how much time it can take to build relationships that go deeper than "how's the weather?" We just moved from Monterey,CA (to Ukraine)- we loved our time out there! So many amazing things to do and see that are within driving distance or even a short plane ride (Legoland!).

Catherine said...

Carrie, I understand! We were in a similar situation a few years ago, and it *is* hard. But babies I think do make it easier sometimes to meet people - groups like mops or other mom's groups, other moms at the park, toddler gym, story hour, or preschool can get you around other moms. Even though I'm a bit on the shy side, I found that the more I invited people over for play dates (or to meet at parks or whatever) the easier it got. Now I have a wonderful circle of friends - I know you will before too long as well. *Hugs*

SC Crew said...

Carrie,
I am usually a silent reader. Your style always amazes me and I reach for inspiration from your designs. Moving is hard. I think we all look at the lives of others and think "how wonderful" and yet we really don't know their lives. Thank you for being honest on your blog.

While family and friends are further away, reading the previous comments also shows that you have some blogging friends who are right here with you!!

Jessica @ This Blessed Life said...

For the past 8 years, I've lived anywhere between 12 and 5 hours from my family. We only just moved back to be near them last month. I have been where you're at before, and it's not fun. When my husband was in grad school and we had just moved to a new state where we knew NO one (just like you guys!), I remember watching the "Avonlea" series on dvd just so I would feel a little less lonely by myself when he was teaching class!

You seem like a wonderful person and I'm sure you'll make friends in no time. In the meantime, keep blogging - we may not live near you but we're still "here" for you! :)

Lisa said...

Hey Carrie,

Hugs from Colorado! I know how hard it must feel and I am sorry you are going through this....but HELLO...have you met yourself? I have had the wonderful pleasure of meeting you in "real life" and guess what? You are AWESOME! You are so beautiful, personable, fun, etc. that once you get out there, you will make a ton of friends and it will feel like home. I PROMISE!

Not discounting how you feel right now, because moving is hard and adjusting to new environments isn't easy and what you are feeling is NORMAL! You'll get through it and those California peeps are going to LOVE you! So chin up my friend! You are going to do GREAT! : )

Lisa said...

Hey Carrie,

Hugs from Colorado! I know how hard it must feel and I am sorry you are going through this....but HELLO...have you met yourself? I have had the wonderful pleasure of meeting you in "real life" and guess what? You are AWESOME! You are so beautiful, personable, fun, etc. that once you get out there, you will make a ton of friends and it will feel like home. I PROMISE!

Not discounting how you feel right now, because moving is hard and adjusting to new environments isn't easy and what you are feeling is NORMAL! You'll get through it and those California peeps are going to LOVE you! So chin up my friend! You are going to do GREAT! : )

Carolyn @ life, love & puppy prints said...

The deck looks amazing!!!

Hugs about missing your family and friends! :( Moving is hard and a huge adjustment... but hopefully you make some friends quickly to ease the pain!!

Sarah said...

Carrie, I totally understand what you are going through and am so sorry you are feeling lonely. I wish we could arrange a playdate :)

Hang in there friend! You have such a beautiful, funny and creative personality that I'm positive you won't be lonely for long!

Kelli said...

Carrie, I hope things look up for you soon and you find a great group of people who will be like family for you. I don't doubt that it's hard.

Amber said...

Sorry you are so lonely! I can completely relate. You should look up and see if there is a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group in your area. They usually meet twice a month and I LOVE my group. We've only been meeting 1 month and I already have new friends!

Sunny said...

Carrie, I'm so sorry! BTDT. I know what it feels like. And let me thank you for being real and transparent that your life is not-so-perfect because clearly that deck is! :) Big hugs.

Windy said...

Oh, Carrie! I am so sorry you are homesick! I hope that very soon you will find someone to be friends with - having a preschooler is a big plus, cuz you get to meet the moms!
I'm glad you shared, it lets us see "you" and not just your beautiful home(s) :)

Cynthia Geddis said...

So sorry to hear you are homesick, but I understand your feelings, and it's totally OK to miss where you came from. It's comfortable and familiar. Moving is such a big adjustment and so stressful. It will get better, but in the meantime don't feel bad for having normal emotions and feelings. When we moved away from our family to a place we knew nobody it was hard. There was nobody to be our "emergency contact" either. But we got involved in sports and the kids' schools and now our friends are our family. Hang in there and enjoy that beautiful city you are in!

Amber said...

WOW, that is a beautiful deck with amazing views! And a perfect place to eat dinner or sit in one of those comfy rocking chairs with a book. I will be praying that you'll have community and new friends soon to enjoy that beautiful space with, to laugh with over dinner and to have one of your fun make your own pizza parties with! Transition can be so hard. It can definitely be lonely in that in-between time when you've left all your loved ones behind, but haven't yet had a chance to meet new friends who will hopefully become like family one day. Especially when you used to have close family right around the corner. Everything is new too...new place, new people, new part of the country. I can understand the longing for something familiar. Hang in there! Thanks for sharing your heart as well as your home.

Valerie said...

Oh Bless your heart. I know it's sometimes scary to get involved in new places but maybe joining a church, playgroups, and the local YMCA or community center might help. Give it time you will make it great. In a year you will be so surprised. Go visit the neighbors. Good Luck I will pray for you.

One more thing, I know this sounds crazy, but I write a blog on couponing and even before I started couponing I have made many of my friends in the grocery store. Everytime I am in the store with my binder I make a new friend and you might just try to visit when you shop at the stores. Hope this helps.

Valerie
www.thecutecouponer.blogspot.com

Nicole said...

I just wanted to encourage you! I have moved 6 times during my 15 year marriage (I have three small children) and it's always a difficult adjustment. I have found that it takes about one year to feel 'settled' with friends etc. It's soo lonely in the beginning..but take heart, it will get easier!
Hugs!

Sarah said...

Carrie,
I've moved a couple of times in the past 6 years and I know a little about being homesick. Your not alone, and there is nothing wrong with telling us all about it. You will have bad days, and it will get better. I recently went to a class that I thought was awesome, maybe there is one in your area. The website is justmoved.org
As a mom with young kids I can only incourage you to get out and try to meet as many people as you can. I have always had great experiences at MOPS and MOMS Clubs, connecting to your new area is the best medicine for a homesick heart...

p.s. the view is to die for! WOW

Our Complete Family said...

Oh man sweetie... how I totally 150% know exactly how you feel! I've moved several times and that is the hardest part~ when hubby is in the daily grind of a new job and you know no one. Bryce started here at Christmastime in his new school with no emergency contacts either!
I put Caroline in the Little Gym and met a super sweet Mommy there by striking up a convo one day and then each week we'd chit chat. I was outside a LOT this summer and forced my neighbors to talk to me ;) and now one of them is a super friend and is even my emergency contact person!
Google Mothers and More and see if you have one near you. MOPS is also another good group. I know several fellow military wives that utilize both to meet peeps at their new locations.
And Skype... man oh man is it handy dandy! If you don't have it you must get both you and your family hooked up.
It's been 9 months since we moved and I just met a few Moms over the past 2 months. I promise it will get better sweetie. You are so kind and I just know your new friends are waiting just around the corner!
Sending virtual hugs your way...
xo Les

Anonymous said...

Your new house is beautiful and I hope that someday soon, you can enterain new friends on that gorgous deck of yours! :) I would look into a "Newcomers Club" or "MOPS" group to join. That's a great way to meet families with small children. If you are religious, find a church that meets your needs. I know it's hard and with only three weeks in, it seems like a long time. Hang in there!! ((HUGS))

mom21xy said...

Thinking of you during this transition! Hang in there! Donna

asdeese said...

We got married and moved 3 1/2 hours away a few months later. We have a daughter (almost 5) and recently moved back home after being gone for almost 8 years. I had no idea how tough moving would be for my little one. Mimi (my mom), who she is really close to, is not even enough. For the first two months she cried about missing her old house and friends. We are renting since we had to move suddenly and she wants to paint her room. I have worked hard to make it her own, but she still wants her old room. Now my husband works from home when he is not traveling and it has been an adjustmet!! It's either all or nothing with having him around. It is hard for us to swtich modes all the time. We don't know what the next week holds with his schedule.

Moving is tough, esp. on the little ones! Even though I grew up here, I feel lost. We had a life in VA and I feel like I am starting over again.

Best of luck to you and your family. You are right that it takes time, but that is the difficult part! You want a life again instantly! Esp for the kiddos.

Thanks for being real;-) Real life isn't perfect. It's the hard times that make us who we are. At the beginning of the year, I ended up with a ruptured disk in in the hospital. My mom and MIL took turns coming up to help me with my little one since my husband had to work and sometimes travel. I spent 3 months in therapy, not being able to drive. In the middle of all that, my husband lost his job and the help slowly faded away. I could hardly take care of myself, much less my daughter. After major stomach issues from meds, my husband had to cancel a work trip and had 2 interviews pop up that week. He got a new job and I was thankful I was sick that week! Our pastor and his family ended up buying our house and we never had to show it!

I am so thankful, but it is still tough. And it's okay to be sad or down sometimes. Life is not easy. Thanks for posting, made me feel a little more normal!

The Reluctant Belle said...

Carrie, I've been there. It's tough. I moved from living in the same house since I was born (not including going to college) to moving halfway across the country to a strange state where I only knew 1 person.

I know you know, but you'll be fine. Kids are so good at helping you meet people. Set your house up and then get out there... join some playgroups, find a church and get involved, etc. The Bay area is such a wonderful place to live, I know you're going to be great. And it's so great, your family will have an excuse to come and visit! :)

Hugs from Georgia!

Heather said...

You'll do great! I moved to Oregon from Michigan 10 years ago and know exactly what you are going through. It's rough and lonely.
One thing you may look into is either story hour at your local library for the kids and you can meet other mommies you possibly have something in common with. Or meetup.com sometimes has local mommy groups that meet once a month just to talk with another adult!

Miss E said...

Oh, friend, adjusting is always hard... And you've got a lot to adjust to! I'm thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way. xoxo

Anonymous said...

A strong suggestion: If you attend church, I would suggest you visit a few and start attending. You will probably find one you like. Once you start going, you would feel more comfortable and make new friends. Just another hint.....don't pick a mega church....too impersonal. Best wishes.

melissa * 320 Sycamore said...

Hello, Carrie! So I'm late on this one, but girl, I have so been there. That feeling of walking into a grocery store and knowing a soul or not even having a chance of bumping into someone you know...because there is no one you know! My son had a birthday a week after we moved in and we couldn't invite anyone even if we wanted to because we had no friends. Such a lonely feeling. And yes, the emergency contact on all of the forms. *sigh* It will get better. You've got to give yourself a good 6 months to a year until you even begin to get your groove. It will come, but I just wanted to send you hugs from Virginia and say I feel your pain...
Love,
Melissa

Life with Kaishon said...

I am so, so sorry you had to leave everyone. : ( That hurts my heart. I have always thanked God so much that he has allowed our family to stay close to one another. I could not get by one day without them. Even with a deck like that. HOLY WOW! It is gorgeous : )

So excited for you. I know you will make new friends. You are very lovely and pretty. You totally fit into California because of your blonde adorableness : ) Seriously! I will pray for some wonderful new friends! XO