I interrupt my usual house ramblings for this post!
I don't know enough about the blogging world to answer this question for myself. When I started "Buzzings of a Queen Bee" in August of 2008, I had lots of ideas and house projects to share. (I still do, don't worry!) But I always believed that an important part of blogging was not just the posts I write, but what I contribute to the community as a whole: read other bloggers' posts, leave comments generously, build relationships (strange as that sounds since few of us have met each other, but you know what I mean!).
However, since August of 2008, I have had Baby #2, and the somewhat predictable life I once led has gotten chopped up into lots of tiny moments of my day. This leaves little time for projects and even less time to be the commenting, responsive blogger I once was.
I blame these cute little people:
And sometimes I blame this, undeniably less cute, mountain of laundry:
And I find myself, when I do have free time, being drawn to the very projects that drive this blog:
Problem is, that leaves very little time to give to you, my reader, in terms of visiting your blogs when you visit mine, leaving comments so you know I care enough to be there, etc.So my question is this: Which is more important? To be an on-the-ball blogger with lots of time to visit and reciprocate to all of you? Or spend my time doing the things that you like to read about when you come here? Which is more important to you as my readers? To have that personal connection with me? Or to be able to come here and maybe get a new, fun idea for your own house? Is it enough for you to just get the house ideas and inspiration? What really draws you to someone's blog to begin with?
OK, now that I have laid that question out there, I ask you to be kind to me! This has been on my mind for awhile now, because in a perfect world, I would have enough time for everything: my family, my responsibilities, my projects, my real-life friends and my blogging-friends. It really bothers me when I read your sweet comments (and I really do read each one) and I know I just don't have the time to be able to respond to you all. So I worry I am hurting and offending people and that's the last thing I want to do. (Yep, I also over-think things, in case you can't tell!)
Have a great weekend, and if you've gotten to the end of this post and you still have the energy to share your thoughts with me, I applaud you! :)
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66 comments:
That's so nice of you to ask! Just do whatever you feel like doing - your blog should be for you first and foremost, don't feel pressurised. I love reading your blog posts and if I read something I want to reply on I'll comment. You said something I replied, I don't expect a reply to a comment, usually I don't ask a question as I don't expect a reply.
If you then come and visit me it's a bonus, but I don't expect people to, especially blogs with lots of followers and commenters - I realise you have a life outside of the blog!
Real life is important and with a new wee one you've got a lot on your hands, just do whatever makes you happy; if you feel like posting go for it, if you feel more like surfing, reading and commenting do that instead. Whatever you feel like just do it and don't worry!
Jade
For me, I understand that life gets in the way. Projects and decorating tips, hints, advice, etc. are what draw me to a blog and keep me coming back for more. So, I like to see posts of doable ideas...comments would rank 2nd - I don't necessarily read all the comments after every blog post that I read. Hope you can enjoy it more in2010!
Hey there....first of all, let me tell you: I LOVE your blog!! Second: don't beat yourself up over what you can't get it done. Enjoy your little ones while they are still little. That is the most important thing to remember.
Now, to answer your question: (keep in mind that this comes from a blogger, who doesn't have it all together, either--but would like to!) I like reading blogs that show projects, etc. I don't always have time to post a comment telling that blogger how much I enjoyed it (and I feel guilty for that as well). So, I say, keep posting your projects (as you see fit, when you have time); let us enjoy looking at them and don't worry about not answering EVERY comment. Just my two cents!!
Keep up the great projects. Love seeing them all!!
I love connecting with people and have made numerous friendships through blogging, somewhat like having a penpal would do.
I love tidbits of others lives, whether it be brief snippits or a rampage of quick photos.
Keep bringing it on.
I particularly love the recipes and your "newbie" sewing.
Two children are like learning to juggle. I appreciate your trying to balance your life and I would enjoy an occasional picture of the children and peeks into what they are doing with nice doses of inspiration and ideas for things to do to my home. My vote is inspiration and fun ideas with tastes of your real life as a Mom.
Hi Carrie,
That's so sweet of you to think about! I was so surprised when you came to my blog and said hi after I commented on yours - I've never had that happen from a blog before! I usually add blogs to my reader when I notice that someone has a style that I like so I can get (and shamelessly steal!) ideas for my own house. I like your philosophy toward blogging, but I don't think you should feel like you shouldn't blog if you can't keep up with all the relationship aspects. I don't think most people expect personal attention, so don't feel back if you have to scale back to focus on your family and then your projects.
I am a lurker on your blog. I have never left a comment before. But, I love the things you post. I recently sanded and re-stained the wood on my banister and it was your blog I used as a reference to know what to do. You give me a lot of inspiration. It would not bother me if you never came to my blog and made a comment. I just love seeing what you are doing and I love your style of writing and posting. So, keep doing it and if you have to let something go, I would not be offended if it was the time you spend going around making comments. I have four kids so I understand how hard it is to balance everything. I would be sad if I couldn't read about all your projects. You are great!
I'm right there with you. Since I've started my blog in August 07, I've had 2 babies, lost one, moved cross-country, gotten pregnant again....whew! And once I started reading the majority of my blogs in Google Reader, I got even worse about commenting.
SO I feel your pain, I do.
I'd say, for me, it's still about community. Even if I don't post every day, I try to read everyday and comment as often as possible. It's hard, but....I think I want the connections to stay strong, even if my writing doesn't. You know?
I totally know where you're coming from. You WANT to do both!! It is incredibly hard to balance it all - for me working fulltime, 2 kids, a hubby & a pup - having a newly built house with LOTS of stuff for us to still finish inside & out, older parents (that makes me sound sooo old but they were older when they had us kids) - it all takes time. And we each have to decide where we want to spend the time. I adore blogging & being inspired by the amazing bloggers out there but sometimes it's overwhelming. So sometimes I have to choose between blogging or feeding my family --hmmm which do you think wins out? I think everyone has been there & had to take time away or comments less or schedule things differently. Do what feels right & everyone - I'm sure - will understand!
Note, this is coming form someone who rarely comments.
I am in blogging for me (I'm selfish I admit it). I come to your site all the time to get cute ideas (I have replicated many in my own home). I am horrible at commenting. I am not into blogging for the social aspect.
You may be different though. You need to reevaluate your 'blogging goals' then act accordingly. No one can say but you what you want to get out of this experience. Good luck, for me I hope you don't stop posting your fun projects. I look at thrift stores in a whole new light thanks to you!
I love to have a peek into other people's lives to see that they are just as chaotic as mine. What draws me to a blog is the type of projects, pictures, ideas, tutorials etc.--not so much the connection factor. That would just be a bonus, but there's no way we can do it all. I personally think you're doing a great job- keep up the good work.
I think we all feel that way! Just do your thang girl! Most people won't be offended if you never visit their site to leave a comment back. We just like to see the projects and get inspired! Don't let it worry you!
Oh Carrie -- you're so sweet to ask! I love to read your blog and about your projects and see those adorable kiddos. Anyone who has been a mom with little kids knows how busy it is! If you have time to leave me a comment, I figure that's a bonus, but don't worry about it at all. We can all only do so much, right! Have a fun weekend!
Janet
I guess it depends on the purpose of your blog. I follow some blogs because I like to chat back and forth with the author. Some blogs I follow strictly for information/ideas and don't comment much.
I make an effort to visit the blogs of people who make comments on mine.
Your kids are so cute! I would take them over blogging any day if I were you. :)
I don't comment on many blogs like I used to. I do love that people comment on my blog but my blog is not about one certain thing so that may not interest many people. But if I comment on your blog that does not mean you have to come to my blog and comment but if you do that would be very sweet.
Life get busy and you can't read every blog at least I can't.
writer chick summed it up for me too.
It's about you. Do what you can.
I love comments too. I think every blogger does. But life comes first!
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE JUST 15 MINUTES A DAY TO BLOG ON WHATEVER YOUR ABLE. WHAT HAPPENED IN YOUR DAY... WHAT THE PEEPS ARE UP TOO... ETC... FORGET THE WEEKENDS. HUBS IS HOME !
HUGS FROM MAINE
What a very thoughtful post! Kiddos definitely change the world...I know they've changed mine, but definitely for the better. Our time with our families and little ones is so precious and so fleeting, when you think about the fact that in just a few short years they will be off to school, then off to college...then off to the world. Do what brings your heart joy and we will keep reading! :-)
I agree... do what feels right for you.
I like to read updated blogs... so that is more important to me. It's nice if you can comment back but I certainly don't expect it. Just sort of a bonus... so do feel pressured to be extra 'social'.
Sometimes I think God leads you (one) to know who 'needs' to hear back from you. So go where you are compelled and don't worry about the rest.
But of course... you should make an effort to hang out with those of us in Denver... ha ha!
I so enjoy reading your blog however I think you need to decide why you started this blog and stick with that.
Mine is mainly a journal of my life however I plan to show a few home projects as I go because that is a part of my life.
I hope you you do what is best for you and not what everyone else wants.
Many blessings to you.
Heidi
I thought your post was very kind and heartfelt. I enjoy your design posts and your creative ideas. You are the one who got me to pick up a Barefoot Contessa cookbook. Thanks by the way, love it.
I do feel that nothing is more important than being a wife and mother. All other relationships are secondary. So I really do understand your time restraints. How do we handle everything- we can't. Just do the best you can and let your family know that they are top priority.
Comments can really boost someones day. Usually mine are short unlike this one which is a book. Sorry. My blog has certainly evolved from our family journal to sharing and meeting wonderful women from all around the country.
Post when you can and comment when you can too.
I'm probably older than most chicks that blog, honey, so I need to address this from a bit of a different perspective than a mom raising children.
"No success can compensate for failure in the home." Now, having said that I do understand the need to have time for yourself. I have no children at home anymore. My grandkids are pretty much grown but we keep in contact via skype usually. I'd say those little munchkins come before anything. There will come a "season" for you to do more for yourself soon.
With that being said, you don't need to leave comments everywhere. I couldn't possibly do that and I'm not raising kids or working, sweetpea! I peruse the blogs. Some don't need a comment sometimes. I usually will see if someone "sounds" like they need lifting up or a question answered. I surf about 200 blogs so I'm sure you can see the folly in trying to comment on each one.
Don't stress out, sugar. Just go to the ones you can. Blog during the wash/dry cycle!! Or when the munchkins are napping. I, for one, would rather read the projects where I can get ideas.
Bottom line: don't worry about it. Just make sure your family is happy, sweet chick. That's what it's all about.
xoxo,
Connie
I was stressing b/c I was not leaving comments and visiting blogs like I use to.
But, then I realized that blogging has it's "moments"...sometimes you can and then life gets busy and you can't!
Blogging is giving to others too BUT it's your blog....life brings enough guilt...Blogging should not be one of them!
Those cute people you have...they are the important ones. Enjoy them...it goes in a wink of an eye and you are on to the next stage!
Love...Sandy Toe
p.s. I must say it was nice to see you today on Shell in your Pocket:)! But, no guilt!
I completely understand how you feel, I too have the mountain of laundry and the two cute faces requiring my attention! I usually can't find time to comment on all the blogs I read either, but I do love reading all the ideas. Life is busy!
You are so sweet! I will say this...when a blog comes to be on the level that yours is (meaning, you have a lot of readers) there is NO way you can answer everyone. While I think you seem like a wonderful person who I would love to live next door to, you are a wife and mom first and then a blogger. I'm OK with just reading your wonderful post and getting a ton of information and tips from you. I have never though...how rude, she hasn't responded to MY blog (even though you did today...how fun). You are doing people (and me) a great service by posting such great ideas and that's all the hello I need. Blog visit when you can, comment when you can...and nothing more. HUGS!!!
and excuse my typos.
Just do what you can! That's the best thing about blogging! There's no rules!
In case you needed one more person to tell you, here I am...Do what you want!
I read lots of blogs, but only comment when I feel like there is something I can add or have a question.
As a blogger, I don't expect every person to comment on my posts. I do it for me, not an audience.
So, I guess try to decide if you want to keep doing what you are doing or if your aim is to make your blog bigger.
My 2 cents:
1. Be a mom and let nothing and no one get in the way of that. They are what really matters in life!
2. Set up a schedule to blog, be it once a week or twice a month, whatever. Take time in your days to write notes when the mood strikes and then blog about the important stuff. Then set up a time to respond to those blogs you enjoy, what gives you inspiration and those messages you feel deserve your time.
We all have families, jobs, life to deal with and if all we did was blog all day we'd never get anything done and miss all the fun moments.
Just consider it your few moments to escape the real world and then do what you enjoy.
Don't hink so hard- it makes your brain hurt! :)
Carrie -- We are all in the same exact boat! It is so hard to juggle everything in life. When you find the perfect balance, please let me know!
Hope you have a great weekend!
Oh I feel you on this one!! It is hard to keep up your blog and your normal family life and then visit everyone else. I say that you keep doing what you do and if you make it around to say hello every once in a while that is nice, but definitely not necessary. We come here to visit because we love what you share with us each post....we don't expect a return comment or visit. Blogging could become a full time job if you let it...... no worries!! Just keep the projects coming and keep those cute babies happy.
Happy New Year!!
xo,
Lisa
Since I don't maintain a regular blog, and I just love reading others' blogs for inspiration, I'm cool with more projects and less visiting. I can see why you'd love to spend more time visiting, though.
Live your life, blog what you choose, and answer back if you get a chance.
Easy peasy.
I always enjoy your blog but I can't imagine anyone getting offended if life gets in the way of blogging. The real world and your family should always come first. I have a 15 month old and can feel your pain and I only have one. I use blogging sometimes like taking a bubble bath - just do it so it relaxes you - if you stress about its not what you need to be doing that day or even that week. Enjoy your little ones and forget about he blog world - they need you way more right now than any of us (although we are needy too ~ but we'll understand).
When I had my blog the delightfulbusybee (for one short month!!) I found it very hard to manage a blog, visit others and make comments on them, all while taking care of my house, two daughters and doing something that I can blog about!!! I think that your family and home should be first and foremost!! I love to see snippets of your life in all its realness. I love your projects and inspiration. I don't think you should feel like you have to visit all that blogs that make comments. That is just putting too much pressure on yourself!! Take care!!
I think you just proved you care :)
I am just starting out in the home improvement blogging world and I'm so eager to see everything other people like me are doing to their homes. I love DIY tips also.
I also am a new mommy and completely understand how busy you can get. I only read my comments sometimes, and in the middle of the night! Don't overthink it too much. Your doing a splendid job!
This is my first time commenting...but I saw keep doing what you are doing & when you can do it. Live life first!
I just started my own blog -- and I work full time outside the home at a mid-level management job AND have two kids! I am crazy. But, I find that a 5-10 minute blogging session is my relaxing moment...it's my TV, my bubble bath.
So, use it as you need to. I think the expectation in blog land is that you have to reply to comments so breathe easier!
Good luck to you! I know that 2 kids is exponentially harder than one! But they are worth it.
I wish you could edit your own comments! (or maybe I should proofread...)
I meant to SAY (not saw) keep doing what you are doing...
and that there IS no expectation to reply to a comment....
Sheesh! More coffee, STAT!
Hi, First I love your blog and your ideas and eagerly check in (almost daily) to see what you have tackled! BUT, I am not a blogger- just a girl who LOVES to read what others are doing which inspires me to return to my creative side while working full time outside the home and raising two kids with my husband-
I think you should focus on family and do what works for you :)
Cathy
Well! That's sweet that you are concerned! I feel like people probably started reading your blog because they wanted to hear what you had to say. Right? So no biggie if you can't respond to even 1 comment...much less the loads you receive! That's how it works for me anyway. I read your blog because I like the content! Not because I am hoping you'll leave me a comment or something like that.Although that's nice...it's not what makes the whole thing fun to me. :) So in other words, people know you have two kids and a life! No worries at all if your time has to go to the actual blogging! You should just do whatever was the original reason you started your blog. No one will mind!
Your family & home come first...so blog when you can and share a bit!
Well. . . thoughtful question. I haven't read through everyone else's response, but I think if you blog to belong to a community, you'll need to comment back. I know several blogs who have turned off the comments - and then you wouldn't feel guilty responding. But if you love comments and feedback, I do feel that you owe it to those to respond. Just my opinion.
I'm really new to blogging, only since Jan 1 actually, but I want to keep it up. But I have 2 kids and 5 animals and a hubby. I have projects of my own, plus all the crafty things I want to do and learn. Right now I'm looking for any and all to follow my blog so I try to leave comments on a lot hoping people will come visit mine (www.scrapityanne.blogspot.com shameless plug I know!) but would NEVER fault anyone for having a life and wanting to live it.
That was long-winded huh? Keep posting what you can cuz it's awesome, and don't stress about the rest. :-)
There's an ebb & flow to everything... waves of work in motherhood, and small tides of relaxation. Work on the projects that work for your family. Write the posts that feel true to you. And comment when the urge strikes. I can relate to a woman/mother/wife that puts her real life first, follows her interests, and shares with her friends when able! It's hard to push start on the coffeemaker... breathe!
The fact that you even ASK this question proves that you are a uniquely kind and thoughtful individual...which is what we already come to appreciate from your blog.
I echo what everyone else is saying...your family and personal life comes first!
I think I used to comment more on your blog than I do now, but I still look forward to and enjoy your posts when they come up in my reader just as much even if I don't always comment anymore. And of course, I love to hear from you, you always have thoughtful comments, but I come here regardless.
Blessings as you work on coming to a decision about this issue that you are comfortable with!
Shilo
Oh goodness...I have lots of opinions. I believe that you have to stay true to the reason you started blogging. For me, it was to chronicle my life and times for my kids. Sort of an alternative way to scrapbook since they are both practically grown up now. I don't live to blog, BUT, blogging has now become a part of the way I live. It's a little easier for those of us whose kids aren't little anymore. I read blog of people who probably don't ever read mine. I like readers and comments, BELIEVE ME, I do, but that doesn't determine whether or not I read someone elses. I also don't expect another blogger to recriprocate when I do leave a comment. Hope this helps.
Oh, Carrie! I might be one of the people in the bloggy world who knows you best when it comes to this because we've spoken about it. I say...you're doing just fine! I know that you are a busy person and I know that you have a family to take care of, mainly because I am a busy person as well. I say...do whatever makes YOU feel better. We all care about you and we all appreciate you taking the time to share such wonderful ideas with us!
I love your ideas, and your makeovers are inspiring! I don't have a blog, so I don't care if you don't visit me and leave me comments, ha ha ha! You are a step ahead of me. I just like coming to visit. I wouldn't think anyone is offended to not have you respond to their comments. At least I would not be!
Angie
I always love stopping by and saying hi..You have a beautiful family..Enjoy them..Believe me they dont stay small to long..Sending lots of hugs all the way from Canada..
Don't stress!
Do what you can, and what you enjoy-with the exception of laundry-that just has to get done!
You have a little baby-that trumps everything! Mine are older, so I have the time in the evenings to look, and comment-I certainly don't get offended by you, ever!
I just appreciate the fact that you share your wonderful ideas and creativity with the rest of us. As a young mother you have many obligations that are far more important than responding to every comment. I think you have to go with what makes you most comfortable. Thank you for being the wonderful "blogger" that you are!
I love seeing projects and ideas of others! I'm horrible at commenting. Have never commented on your fun blog. Having the best of both worlds is sometimes just impossible. I too have 2 small ones to chase after and clean up after. I vote keep doing a great job tending to your responsibilities at home and I would love to keep seeing your fun ideas and projects! You are an amazing blogger!!
I don't even know if I've commented on your blog before or not, but I do enjoy reading about your projects and seeing pictures. I read lots of blogs like yours for that reason, and since my own blog is more of a family blog, I would not expect that it would interest you seeing as you do not know me, so it would not bother me in the least if I left a comment and you did not visit my blog to reply....of course you are welcome to, but I know how precious your time is. I've got 2 little ones too!
I enjoy your blog and I realize that you have two little ones so I don't expect that you would have the time to get around to all of us and comment on posts. I would rather you just keep on doing and posting projects here and there than to quit because you don't have the time to comment. :) That's my 2 cents worth.
Carrie...I think a lot of us are going through this at this time for all kinds of reasons. AND your blog is your blog so do what you can but give those beautiful babies of yours the best of YOU. They will be grown and gone before you know it and then you will have time for projects, commenting, etc.
I'm glad we've met through blogging and have enjoyed your comments AND I will be back from time to time to check up on you.
Love ya, COnnie
I have asked myself this same question...over and over. Oh to find the balance~
I recently found your blog, and as a new blogger...I have sometimes found myself in disagreements with my husband who waits to hang out with me until I'm done blogging. I don't think this is really fair...when we have a ready and willing family...and we choose to blog.
I think blogging is like any other hobby. It's fun and okay in moderation. But I think ABSOLUTELY your family deserves you. This should not be a stressor, but a stress reliever! At least that is my humble opinion.
I sure love reading your thoughts though! I linked to your stovetop air freshener and I had at least five people tell me they tried it and loved it. Have a wonderful Sunday!!
I think it's a little bit of both and you call it good! Let's keep it real ~ life gets in the way and that's just a reality. Besides, when you have two little ones beggin for attention, that's what matters most!
Hope you're off to a fabulous start in the new year!
Jo
Hi Lady! I think that posting is the first thing, because I think that most people come to get ideas. But when you have time to visit and comment, do that too. I love the relationships I"ve built through blogging, but most of the time it's just not possible to visit and comment to everyone. Just do your best. ;-)
Also speaking as an "older" blogger without kids in the house anymore...your time for doing it all will come. Be patient and enjoy your kids while they are young! Do whatever else you are able to do and don't stress over what you can't do! (I know, it's hard.)
I say don't sweat it! It's your blog, for you, not necessarily for the rest of us. Try not to look at it like a chore and more as an artistic release. Personally, I have to force myself to do work all day, whether at the office, or doing laundry at home, so when I do something for me, I pick something that in the moment feels right. If you are feeling good about what you are doing, we will all enjoy reading it. Ü
Carrie, as mothers we all struggle with the feeling as if we must be there for everybody ALL the time! Please do NOT feel guilty, we will all be here when you have time to post! You be with those beautiful, beautiful babies as much as you can - they grow so fast! It seems like just yesterday mine were that age, now they are 20, 18 and 14!
Enjoy them!
((((HUGS))))
♥Lori
I think you're great... I come to your blog to see what fun and creative ideas you have (with a little personal life thrown in for good measure)... nothing more - nothing less... and I will be back to read for sure... ~ kim
Wow-Please don't feel guilty, and please don't stop blogging! I have shamelessly lurked at your sight for a while now, and never even taken the time to comment, even though I have used soooo many of your great ideas! And you are the only blog I consistently come back to, time after time. I have 3 kids and no idea how you find time for the things that you already do. Enjoy those little ones, and don't worry about the rest of us!
Not sure that I ever commented on your blog but you are the sweetest thing. I look at your blog for ideas and inspiration. We have two children as well and I am not sure how you do it all. Do not feel obligated to respond to all your bloggers as you can see they all care deeply for your personal life first and then other things later. I have two blogs, one educational and the other personal and I DO NOT keep up with them due to the lovely little children that I have. Happy 2010~
Carrie! Hi cute girl! We just got our internet set up today, but I wanted to thank you so much for your email~it meant so much. It makes me feel so good to read this post and know I'm not the only one that struggles with the whole balance issue. :) You know I'm a huge fan, just blog when you can~you know we'll always be here, but your two little ones aren't little for very long. Love ya~
P.S. You are so skinny!! Please send tips my way :)
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